Sometimes, when I am trying to call over a cat or dog, I sit on the floor, pat the spot next to me, and pet the carpet in a somewhat seductive manner as if to say, “You can have some of this petting if you come to me.”
CHALK ART WITH KIDSWe had just finished drawing stars around a moon.
ME: Look at us. We're covered in stardust!
GIRL: I know a good way to clean off chalk.
ME: Oh yeah? How?
Girl grabs my hands and spits on 'em before I can say anything.
GIRL: Now rub your hands together!